Clearer
AI tools now write the first draft for many of my classmates. The question isn't whether to use them — it's how to keep our own argument visible underneath.
サンプル · Vol I
AI らしい原稿の
実際の姿。
4 つの完成事例 — 学術論文、奨学金出願、ESL リフレクション、業務メール。下線部にカーソルを乗せれば理由が表示されます。各例について責任ある書き換えも掲載しています。
01
Academic essay · Undergraduate
“In today's rapidly evolving world…”
An undergraduate paragraph from an essay on AI in education. The shape is fine — intro, evidence, qualification, conclusion — but every sentence reads like a thousand other AI essays this semester.
Before · AI 草稿
In today's rapidly evolving world, the role of artificial intelligence in education has become increasingly important. Many experts believe that AI will fundamentally transform how we approach academic work in the coming years. It is widely acknowledged that AI-assisted writing can improve clarity and efficiency. Studies have shown that students who use AI tools complete assignments faster and with fewer grammatical errors. However, it is essential to consider the potential drawbacks.
- highGeneric opening. “In today's rapidly evolving world” is the single most common AI essay opener of 2026.
- highVague claim. Names no expert. Predicts the future without evidence. Standard AI hedge.
- medium“It is widely acknowledged” is hedging without commitment. Acknowledged by whom?
- medium“Studies have shown” without naming a single one. The kind of sentence that survives every spellchecker and convinces no reader.
- lowThroat-clearing transition. Adds nothing. Just say what the drawback is.
After · 責任ある書き換え
通用するバージョン
In my college writing seminar last fall, three out of nine students admitted to drafting essays with ChatGPT.
They were faster than the rest of us — but the teacher could not tell, in conference, which essays we had argued out and which we had merely accepted.
Anderson and Rainie's 2026 Pew Research survey of college instructors [citation needed] reports that this experience is widespread.
The pedagogical question is no longer whether to use AI tools, but how to teach students to revise around them.
他の書き換えモード
Academic natural
Generative writing tools have moved from novelty to default in undergraduate work [citation needed]. The pedagogical question is no longer whether to use them, but how to teach students to revise around them.
↳ Marks the empirical claim with a citation placeholder — never fabricates a study.
More personal
In my second-year writing seminar, three out of nine of us admitted to drafting with ChatGPT. [add your own example here] The teacher couldn't tell which essays were ours.
↳ Personal detail is a placeholder — DraftGuard never invents lived experience.
要点
Replace template openings with one specific image. Mark every empirical claim with a real (or to-be-supplied) citation. Cut the hedges (“it is widely acknowledged”) — they're padding, not argument.
02
Scholarship application · Personal statement
“As a passionate and dedicated student…”
Opening of a scholarship application essay. The applicant is real and accomplished, but the AI draft makes them sound like every other applicant in the pile.
Before · AI 草稿
As a passionate and dedicated student with a deep love for engineering, I have always sought to push boundaries and explore new horizons. Throughout my journey, I have faced numerous challenges that have shaped me into the person I am today. These experiences have instilled in me a profound sense of resilience and an unwavering commitment to excellence.
- highStacked clichés. “Passionate and dedicated” + “push boundaries” + “explore new horizons” — three AI tells in one sentence.
- high“Throughout my journey” / “shaped me into the person I am today” — autobiographical filler with zero specificity.
- high“Profound sense of resilience” + “unwavering commitment to excellence” — abstract virtues no admissions reader believes from words alone.
After · 責任ある書き換え
通用するバージョン
The first machine I built was a desk fan that ran off the bicycle generator my dad rigged in the garage when our power kept cutting out in 2019.
It worked. It was also dangerous in ways I only understood the third time I rewired it.
I want a degree in mechanical engineering because I want the parts of that story I had to learn the long way to be the parts other people get to learn first.
他の書き換えモード
More personal
[Open with a specific physical object you've built or fixed.] [What did it teach you about engineering — concretely?] [Connect to why this scholarship, this program, this year.]
↳ Three placeholders. We won't write your story for you — we tell you the shape and let you fill it.
Clearer
I want to study engineering because I've already been doing it badly, in the garage, since I was fourteen — and I'd like to do it well.
要点
Application essays die on abstract virtue (“passionate,” “dedicated,” “profound resilience”). They live on one specific object, one specific moment, one specific reason. We never invent these — we ask you for them.
03
Reflective paragraph · ESL writer
“The experience was deeply meaningful…”
An ESL writer used ChatGPT to polish a reflective paragraph for a sociology class. The polish stripped out the writer's actual perspective and replaced it with vague academic English.
Before · AI 草稿
The experience of attending the community workshop was deeply meaningful and provided invaluable insights. It allowed me to engage with diverse perspectives and broadened my understanding of community dynamics. Furthermore, the experience underscored the importance of active participation in fostering meaningful change.
- high“Deeply meaningful” + “invaluable insights” are AI substitutes for actual reflection. They sound professional and say nothing.
- medium“Engage with diverse perspectives” / “broadened my understanding” — abstract verb-noun pairs that fit any workshop in history.
- medium“Furthermore” + “underscored” + “fostering meaningful change” — three AI moves in one sentence.
After · 責任ある書き換え
通用するバージョン
At the community workshop, I sat next to a woman in her sixties who had run a tutoring program in the same neighborhood for twenty years.
She told me, “We don't fix anything in a day. We just keep showing up.”
I had been worried about whether my own English was good enough to volunteer. I think now that the question is whether I will keep showing up.
他の書き換えモード
Simpler English
The community workshop changed how I think about volunteering. I met a woman who has tutored kids in this neighborhood for twenty years. She said, "We don't fix anything in a day. We just keep showing up." I had been worried my English was not good enough. Now I think the real question is whether I will keep showing up.
Academic natural
Sustained presence — what one workshop participant called “just showing up” — appears to matter more in this neighborhood than any single intervention. I had been worried about my English; the visit reframed that worry.
要点
AI smooths ESL writing into something that sounds correct and means nothing. The fix is not better grammar. The fix is the specific person, the specific quote, the specific worry the writer actually had. Simpler English mode preserves the voice; Academic mode lifts the register without losing the detail.
04
Professional · Follow-up email
“I hope this email finds you well…”
A graduating student following up on an internship application a week after the deadline. The AI draft is correct, polite, and forgettable.
Before · AI 草稿
I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to follow up on my application for the summer internship position, which I submitted last week. I am very excited about the opportunity to contribute to your team and would greatly appreciate any update you could provide. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
- highThe most common AI email opener. Adds nothing. Skip it.
- medium“I am writing to follow up” is procedural filler. The reader knows you're following up — that's why you're emailing.
- medium“Very excited” + “contribute to your team” + “greatly appreciate any update” — three pleasantries that flatten the request.
- lowAcceptable closing, but generic. One personal touch would help.
After · 責任ある書き換え
通用するバージョン
Following up on my application from April 24 — happy to send the supplementary work samples I mentioned, or to answer questions on the phone if helpful.
I'm based in Boston through May, then in Chicago for the summer; either time zone works.
Thanks again for considering me. The mentorship section in your team page is a real reason I applied.
他の書き換えモード
Clearer
Following up on my internship application from April 24. Happy to send work samples, get on a call, or wait a week if you're still in the middle of reviewing. Either way works for me — and thanks for considering me.
Academic natural
I am writing to confirm my continued interest in the summer internship I applied to on April 24, and to offer any supplementary materials that would help your decision.
↳ More formal — appropriate when you've never met the recipient or the org is structured.
要点
Professional emails get worse the more “correct” they sound. Cut the “I hope this finds you well,” cut the “I am writing to,” say what you want and one specific reason you mean it.
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